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Sharing custody of your children with an ex can be emotional and stressful, but there are some things that you can do to help simplify transition days. Making sure that you are keeping your child's best interests at heart while working through logistics is key. Here are four tips when it comes to simplifying visitation transition days.
1. Have a Meet-up or Always Drop Off
Transition days should ideally involve the parent currently with children doing the dropping off. It is always a good idea to avoid one parent taking the child from the other parent's home, as this might cause a disruption. If your ex lives far away, a designated drop-off site can be arranged.
2. Check in With Your Ex-Spouse Day-Of
A quick text to your ex to make sure everything is on track for visitation transition days can lower your child's anxiety. If your ex is late to your meeting spot or might be rushing home when you are dropping off your child, don't get angry in front of your child. Wait and discuss it with your ex at a different time when your child isn't around.
3. Be Flexible
While visitation timeframes and schedules can be strict when set up by the courts or family divorce lawyers, there may be a little wiggle room. There is a fine line between feeling taken advantage of and being too stubborn when it comes to visitation plans. Try to hear out your spouse if plans change a bit or timeframes shift. If this is to accommodate and activity with your child, try to see this through your child's eyes and be a little more flexible.
4. Don't be Stubborn About Others' Involvement
Life is filled is unexpected events, and it isn't worth the fight to ensure that visitation transitions are handled by your ex-spouse. If there is a long-term significant other in the picture or grandparents that you trust, sometimes pick-ups and drop-offs may break the mold and others are involved. It is a good idea to roll with this and pick your battles. If your kids are safe and happy and are ultimately spending time with their other parent, focus on that.
While visitation guidelines are usually set forth during a divorce, there are things that you can do as a parent to make this less painful for your child. Being a good role model and taking your emotions out of shared custody is key. Try to make visitation transitions as easy as possible for your child.
For more tips about handling a divorce smoothly, contact a lawyer like Arthur David Malkin Attorney At Law.